The Best Sex May Just Be The Quietest Writes Rowan Pelling

I've long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris's Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the 'miaulement' (the delectable French word for crot caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokeh she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the bokeh woman an 'actrice', crot or porn sex worker.

Now, bokeh according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokeh it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokep all men dread - the louder the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, memek you can't measure passion in terms of decibels: memek there's sex as crot performance art, crot and porn sex as genuine intimacy. And porn when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokeh trusts her partner and bokep is not fearing for crot a fragile male ego, bokep she's far more likely to gently sigh and porn moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian memek hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokeh female contributors regularly confessed bokeh to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, porn they'd explain, bokep so they could make their partner feel happy, porn while conserving their energy for porn other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and crot 'manipulation', porn and bokeh that women were prone to what they described as 'copulatory vocalisation' in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokeh so to speak.




A new study confirms the louder bokeh the cry of ecstasy, bokeh the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: bokep 'I'm enjoying this, bokeh but can you get a bloomin' move on.' Sound familiar, memek ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, porn where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland crot said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: porn 'As far as I'm concerned, porn that's what you should be doing.'

Well, porn only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, crot Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and porn Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex - based on observation of our nearest primate cousins - was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and crot keen to copulate.

If you're a crot sex worker, bokep I can understand bokep the need to advertise. But if you're not, porn then men should take heed: memek the best sex may just be the quietest.


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